Royal family presses forward after Prince Philip's death

Why are you my good British people tormenting yourselves with these idiots, I dont seek to abolish monarchy, I do know how much you treasure this tradition, what I am saying is you deserve better than these two in line, because just imagine how the world will look at you and say when the Tampon Prince Charles takes over after his mother, that would definitely start something that will be irreversible with the Commonwealth countries pushing each other aside to be the first to distance themselves with this loser Charles, you know that and I know that, I definitely know that because I am gonna be there to ensure this happens :) what I am saying is, you need something better and you can have me :) imagine how much fun we are gonna have and how popular we all are going to be, the whole world wanna be like us when I unlock the secrets to the Universe and all the good things that will come with it, these idiots what have they ever got you but their criminal activities, so in order to make peace between myself and this side of the family of mine, I am ready to meet this love interest of mine, this young lady, well she is not that young, she must be in my own age, and we are not getting younger by the day, but I dont mind, I am into MILFS anyway so let see if she is the MILF of my life some people have had in mind to finally make peace between the realms and families, my offer stands for a week, and if I dont hear from her, I will come back after ten years or so to perhaps make the same offer again, and when she comes I am expecting a gift, I like gifts fit for a King !! 

Power to the people :)